Friday, 2 December 2016

Go Fuck Yourself

Now let's be fair - I didn't come up with this title, Katy did. But, irregardless - today we are talking about masturbation in relationships - because for some reasons, amongst my friends this seems to be a thing that just doesn't happen. Masturbation, whether you're single or not, is a huge part of a healthy sex life - and, in my relationship, it's a huge part of our combined sex life. Masturbation isn't about displaying your pleasure for other people, but rather finding your own pleasure and, in a relationship, it can be a lot about teaching your partner how to pleasure you.


I think it's important to firstly clarify that there's nothing selfish or disrespectful about enjoying masturbation on your own whilst you're in a relationship - it's a time I use to really focus on myself, my likes and my pleasure; it helps me calm down, it helps me sleep and I'd be lying if I say that I don't masturbate at times when Katy isn't here. It's a natural part of who I am, and not everything about my want to orgasm is about wanting to have sex with another person, sometimes it's about wanting to love myself, and spend some time enjoying my own body.

Having said that - masturbation, both solo and mutual, is a huge part of my relationship. It's healthy, and it helps me to work out what someone else does to pleasure themselves so I can learn better and use it to pleasure them when I'm having sex with them. Additionally, logistically, in a lesbian relationship this is just really helpful - I can only move my fingers in a certain way, and sometimes it helps to have my partner using her hands on any spots I'm missing, and similarly sometimes I want to bridge the gap when I know she just can't reach that spot that I'd like stimulated on top of what she is doing.

I've read so many articles about masturbation being disrespectful to the other partner, about it showing a lack of desire - and that's not true at all. I know full well that Katy masturbating shows no disrespect to me, it's nothing to do with a lack of desire for me - because masturbation is nothing to do with me unless I personally am doing it. Someone else's choice to get themselves off is a personal one, it's a choice about them and celebrating themselves, their body, and their sexuality, and it's nobody else's place to be annoyed about that, or to feel unloved because of it.

So let's embrace masturbation, let's touch ourselves and know that it's about us and nobody else. Let's embrace it as a huge, helpful part of our relationships, and know that it's healthy and most people do it. 

Sammy xo.

Thursday, 1 December 2016

Welcome To Positive December

White rabbit, pinch punch the first of the month, etc. etc. Welcome to my favourite month of the year, my birth month, December. This December, Little Fickle is forgoing the usual beauty posts, we're putting aside the haircare and lifestyle posts - and instead, we're going positive. Sex, period, self and body positive, with a new post going live every single day covering one of those topics. In addition to this, you'll find me over on Twitter unboxing a new sex toy every single day (with the help of Lovehoney) using the hashtag #SamsSexToys and talking about sex positivity and new toys in a safe, comfortable environment.


I hope you'll all join me in celebrating a whole month of just positivity, come and chat to me and tell me what you'd like to see and I'll see you all on the other side!

Sammy xo.

Wednesday, 30 November 2016

November Degustabox

One of the best things about living with another blogger is definitely the fact that you can share their photos when you forget to take your own, and so picture credit to Katy (she did say I could use them).

I love Degustabox day, and this month's was even better than normal because November's box is the Christmas box, and you know I'm all about that; and they didn't let me down, so you best steel yourself for crackers, drinks and chocolate galore. As usual, there's a discount code to go alongside and so if you read this and decide you want a box, head on over to Degustabox and use the code OXNGO for £7 off, which isn't to be sniffed at! I don't get anything in return, you just get a really good deal.

Let's start with the drinks, because we all know that I love it when I get a good drink (or a stiff drink) in my degustabox - and so I was pretty pleased to see two bottles of The Good Cider Of San Sebastian nestled in there, and I can't wait to get these open around Christmas, but right now they're burning a hole in the fridge until a more "appropriate" time to drink them (aka. not 9am on a Wednesday). I did also get a Glitter Berry J2O which is a nice addition for those who don't drink, plus the bottle is cute af. I also got a set of cartons of apple juice from Appy Kids Co. which I was, quite honestly, disproportionately excited about; I love some juice and these have pictures of the Gruffalo on the front (I just remembered this are in the fridge and actually might go and grab one before I finish off this post). Great if you've got kids, great if you're a kid at heart.


Next, let's talk about snack bits - because you know that I'm all about a good snack - and so let's start with the butter crisps from Jules Destrooper. Despite the misleading name, these are actually wafer like biscuits, and they're soft, buttery and good for Christmas morning when you're looking for something sweet to eat without entering into the dangerous "opening your selection box territory. In addition to these there were a packet of Pipers Crisps in Wild Thyme and Rosemary - which I knew that I was going to like because I absolutely love their Chorizo crisps, and these didn't disappoint. There was also some good old Butterkist, and who doesn't like Butterkist? There was a small packet of cinema sweet and a big packet of the new Chocolate Mallow flavour - I'm not sure if I loved or hated the latter, but I did manage to eat an entire packet, so take from that what you will.


Chocolate's next - and there were two little bits in this box; the Brodericks Brothers Handmade Rice Crispy Peanut Butter Bar which, I have it on good authority was really, really tasty, and also the Michel Et Augustin dark chocolate and sea salt cookies, which Katy's Mum didn't stop talking about for what seemed like about an hour. There was also a couple of packets of glitter jelly, and you know that I'm all about that shit.


Finally onto the more practical, but less exciting bits. Let's start with the tea that made me a little emotional and reminiscent over my old job at a swiss restaurant, and that's the pear and cinnamon strudel Ahmad's Tea. These are adorable tea bags and I absolutely can't wait to delve into them, but I do keep on forgetting, so there's that. On top of these there were two boxes of crackers (obviously being saved for Christmas) which were Ryvita Caramelised Onion Thins - the black pepper ones of these used to be my ultimate favourite lunch offering) and also some Cracked Black Pepper Crackers which look fab, so they'll be good come Christmas. The final, and least interesting offering in my opinion, is pepper sauce from Christian Potier, which will undoubtedly get used but will likely sit in the cupboard for a fair while since.

So there's November's Degustabox - let me know what you thought and what bits you've tried and loved if you got the box too!

Sammy xo.
Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.

Tuesday, 29 November 2016

Belonging

Feeling like I belong is something that I think I've always struggled with; not so much in school and in friendships but more as in the last few years I've never really known where to call home. With Katy, I lived in Chester in what was her house, and although I didn't really belong there I felt as though I never really belonged at my Mum and Dad's either, same when I was between houses with my ex boyfriend, and now that I'm back with Katy I'm living in her house that still feels very much like hers, but I don't feel like Mum and Dad's is really my home either anymore.


It's not a reflection on anybody else, or the places that I'm living, or even on myself - it's a reflection of what I need, that I need the comfort and stability of being in a place that's for me, a place that I call mine. Katy has done everything she can to make this room my home, and in many ways it is - but I don't think I'll settle until I'm in a place that I can really put my stamp on, a place that seems ours and is at least semi-permanent, a place to really start our future in.

Belonging is really tough - because there's no real way that you can force yourself to belong; you can feel comfortable, and happy, and safe and still feel as though this space that you're living in really isn't actually your space. I am so grateful to Katy's parents for letting me live here, I love playing with the dog, curling up in front of their fire, I love helping to put the shopping away - I literally love it here, but the place just doesn't really feel like my house, I'm just not sure that I really fit here.

There's no real point to this post, except to ask if anyone has any tips, and to help myself get it out and move forward.

Sammy xo.

Monday, 28 November 2016

Giorgio Armani Beaute

Until a few weeks ago I hadn't really tried anything from Giorgio Armani Beaute, but now I feel as though I could talk about different offerings that I really like until I'm blue in the face. I have a fair few bits to talk about overall, but I've decided to focus on four main things that I think are likely to be the things people are most likely to be asking for when Christmas rolls around, and so I thought that these could be the most helpful. Armani really, really isn't cheap and so I think it's good to see whether or not these live up to the expectation before you spend any cash buying them for yourself.


Right, let's start with Luminous Silk Foundation. I have the lightest colour which is, bizarrely, number 2 - and to give it it's dues, it's a really good colour match and the bottle even has a pump (although personally I'd expect that for £37). This foundation just really isn't for me, however, I find it to be way too thin and - although I've been told at events that this can be built up to a full coverage - I just haven't managed to make it a heavy enough coverage for my liking, even using a sponge or a flat top kabuki. This lasts well, and it gives Katy's dry skin a really lovely luminous finish (as the name would suggest), but if you're looking for something that's really going to give some coverage, I probably wouldn't recommend this one, especially not for the price.


Next up is the Fluid Sheer Highlighter - and to be honest I can't even find the colour that I have of this online, but I will tell you that it, again, is number 2. This is a soft peach, pink sort of colour with a lot of sparkle, and I've been using it as a highlighter (you just pat it on and tap to blend) but Katy has been using it as a primer underneath her foundation and that looks amazing too. I'm not normally one for cream/liquid highlighter, but this one really does work for me and - although it's not cheap at £36.50 - I'd definitely say it's worth the money.


Finally I have an Eye Tint in number 7, and a Lip Maestro in 513. I've lumped these together because I have less to say about them - but I do like both of these a lot. The eye tint has a long doe foot applicator and blends out really well, it's subtle and soft and generally just really pretty - my one downside of this product is that, personally, I just wouldn't be spending £27 on a liquid eyeshadow when, realistically, you could probably find something really similar in boots for a solid fifth of the price. The Lip Maestro is absolutely beautiful and sets down to be almost matte - however, this is also £27 and truthfully, it just really doesn't stay well enough for me to justify spending that amount of money on the lip product. I'd say stick to drug store options, or other more reliable high end options for these two, personally.


So there's my honest thoughts on these, you might think I'm being negative - but I'm just giving honest reviews, especially given the high end nature of the products. If you've tried any of the products and agree or disagree, please do let me know.

Sammy xo.
Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.

Sunday, 27 November 2016

Tips For Bad Days

As Winter rolls in, so do deadlines and so does my anxiety. It's not unbearable, but it's definitely worse than when I'm living life to the max in the Summer and so I've come to formulate a set of tips for bad days in the hope that what helps me just might help you if you need the tips. Obviously no tips are all inclusive, and we all deal with different things in different ways - but it's worth trying a lot of tips to see what works for you personally (and if that's not on this list, then let people know in the comments and we can do a tip share).


1: Write It Down
This is one of the most valuable coping mechanisms that I learned during therapy. When I'm feeling bad, it can feel like it's doubled or tripled as it continuously flows around my head - and so, I find that writing things down on bad days can really help. When I feel better, I either read back on this and try to solve some problems, or I just rip it up and throw it away - whatever appeals to me on the day. It's not a cure all, at all, but it's definitely a practical way to get those feelings out and start to turn your day around at least a little bit.

2: Take The Time Out
I always feel really guilty for taking time out of my life to just regroup, keep my head above water and give myself some time to wallow. Never feel guilty for staying in bed late, for avoiding situations every now and again upset you - take time away from social media, cancel social plans, do whatever you need to do in order to get back on your feet. There's no shame in the need to regroup and work on yourself.

3: Take Care Of Yourself
This is one of the most important ones for me - take care of yourself. Get a shower, change your clothes - push yourself to take your medication and eat and drink even when it's the last thing in the world that you want to do. Eat chocolate, watch Gilmore Girls and make sure that you're doing everything that you can to make sure that, in the long run, you're going to be okay. 

If you have tips on what you do on bad days, please do let me know!

Sammy xo.

Saturday, 26 November 2016

New In Fragrance

Literally just right this minute, as I sat down to start writing this post, I suddenly realised that I have no idea how to write about fragrance. It's so subjective and differs so slightly for each seperate person that I suddenly feel as though there's a lot riding on this post; especially when perfume is so expensive and it's Christmas coming up. Having said that; I have a few perfumes now in my new in box and so I thought it was about time that I got around to talking about them. There's one for just about everyone; from affordable to pretty high end and so keep reading if perfume is on your wishlist this year.

I don't really know where to start, but it seemed to make sense to start with high street and so I have two offerings from an old favourite brand of mine; The Library Of Fragrance. I asked for Myrrh for myself because it sounded amazing and exotic, and Cinnamon Bun for Katy because it's her favourite food - but I actually think that we are going to end up swapping them round as we definitely each prefer the opposite. I'm not really sure what Myrrh is meant to smell like, but to me the smell reminds me almost exactly of the taste of gin and tonic (I don't know how else to describe it). It's described as "warm, spicy, radiant and sensual" on the website and I'd definitely agree. It's a night time scent, but it's perfect for Christmas on it's own, and with Library Of Fragrance you can layer their colognes to make the smell more sweet or fruity anyway, there's even a handy guide on the website.

Next onto Cinnamon Bun and this is everything I wanted it to be and more. Although it does smell like Cinnamon buns taste, in terms of how both foods smell I'd say it actually smells a little more like Gingerbread. Katy thinks that this one is a bit much, and it is very heavy in the way of cinnamon and so it's definitely not for the faint hearted, but for me personally, I think that it's warm and soft and perfect for the Christmas Season when I don't want to feel like I've gone overboard, but I want to be in the spirit. My favourite thing about both of these fragrances is that they're only £15 each, so if you want to layer them it's really not going to break the bank.


Now we're getting a little more expensive as I'm moving onto the Coach Eau De Parfum, which is £69 for the 90ml bottle. This perfume is one that I feel just really isn't for me - not in that it's unpleasant but it just really doesn't sit right on my skin for any kind of occasion. This is supposedly fruity, then flowery and then finally settles to a musk and I hate flowers and the smell of musk in a perfume and so I suppose that could, in itself, be the issue - no big deal, I'm sure many people would like it and it's definitely the kind of perfume that my mum would go for, but I find it a bit heavy and old for myself.


One that I tried and genuinely did really like, which surprised me, is the Bvlgari Goldea Eau De Parfum. Again, I got this in the 90ml bottle and it's not cheap because it's going to knock you back a solid £102 (which makes me feel a little sick inside) but obviously there's smaller bottles, and also we all know that perfume is hella expensive. This is a musky smell with fruity undertones and it's just really wearable, despite the somewhat old fashioned bottle that would definitely put me off if I was looking at it in the shop. Not my top fragrance out of the list, but if musk undertones are your thing then this one might be worth looking at (try 30ml first, would be my one piece of advice).


Finally, and a firm favourite - Giorgio Armani Sí. The 50ml version of this is going to set you back about £63 which isn't to be sniffed at (no pun intended). I've just let the dog smell this one and it really doesn't seem like her favourite, but it is mine at the moment - in fact something about it reminds me of cake, although it is realistically a combination blackcurrant and musk I believe. It's not sweet, but it's not overly musky and it just feels like a really wearable fragrance to me personally, and I'm all over it.

Let me know what fragrances you're loving this year, not that I need any more!

Sammy xo.
Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.
 
BLOG TEMPLATE BY DESIGNER BLOGS