Tuesday, 30 December 2014

2014 - A Self Portrait

I started this year a very different girl. I looked the same, blonde hair that probably needs a good brush, long eyelashes, baby blues that fool you into thinking I'm a hell of a lot younger than I actually am (seriously, I still get a half on the bus - I'm 21). Don't be fooled, though, that isn't the case. I would love to sit here and tell you what an amazing year this has been for me and, don't get me wrong it's had it's moments, but it's been a hell of a lot harder than I've liked to admit. Having said that, it's changed me in a way I hope will serve me far into the future.

I could sit here and tell you how unhappy I've been with myself, and I could tell you how things have panned out for me in the last few weeks and how that's lead to me being away - but I honestly just don't see the point. Maybe in the future I'll delve into that and I'll feel a bit more ready to talk about it - but for now it's just negativity that I could be doing without. This year hasn't been perfect, but it's had more benefits than I ever could have imagined. I have gained so much confidence in myself, maybe not my physical self, but I am so proud of the voice that I have developed. I have come to put so much self assurance into everything that I write, an attribute I put down entirely to Little Fickle.

Photo mash up 2014

If you had told me at the beginning of the year that I would have started a blog and found a voice that slowly developed into a roar about equality, discrimination and current issues - I would have laughed in your face (or probably not, I would have been too much of a church mouse to speak to you at all) but here I am, a living breathing woman, with a voice of passion and a belly full of fire. I'm not sure how Little Fickle changed me so much, but I'm willing to contribute at least some of it to the people I've met along the way who continuously inspire me and help me develop as a person - most notably Summer and Lauren who have been rocks, comedians and therapists amongst a million other things in the last few months.

2014 has been hard, it's rounded me out as a person. It's so unbelievably overwhelming that I stand here, on the cusp of 2015, with no job, no plan and next to no money (I do have a ton of eyeshadow palettes though, so swings and roundabouts) but more than anything, it's a fresh start. It's a clean slate with absolutely no ties to hold me back. 2015 is a brand new year, I hope to see you all in it,

How was 2014 for you?

Sammy xo.

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