Monday, 12 January 2015

3 Things - Friends With Benefits

I spend a lot of my life thinking "wow, I wish somebody had told me about that before I got into this horrendously awkward situation, because it would have been really good to know." As such, I've decided to started a feature called 3 Things, wherein I share with the world 3 things I wish I'd known about a certain subject - some serious, some less serious, all true. I decided to start with something I know a little too much about for my own liking - friends with benefits or non-committal relationships; basically, all those relationships that will never be Facebook official. Here's 3 things I wish I'd known before getting into one (or three) of those. Obviously each experience will vary person to person but this is true based on my personal experience.

1: Family Parties Are A Minefield
You will come to resent the words "why don't you bring that nice boy/girl you've been spending so much time with" from your various family members. It's not that you want them there particularly, nor is it that you overly don't want them there - it's just that this puts you in a position where you have to take them and add fuel to the "everyone thinks I'm in a relationship with this person" fire, or you need to find a way to subtly explain that no, they really aren't my partner, nor will they ever be most likely, but they are pretty good in the sack.

2: Logistically, It's A Nightmare
No, I don't want you to spoon me through the night, but it's 3am and unless you want to drop me off home, that means dropping £7 on a six minute taxi ride. Also, if we're going to a party do we turn up together?  Is that too suggestive and coupley? Is turning up separately but potentially going home together too weird? Seriously, the logistics can get horrendously complex.

3: Blurred Boundaries, Big Fall Outs
This is the big one I've found - a lack of clear, understood boundaries for exactly what parts of life you're a couple for and what parts of life you're just friends for mean that you are likely to argue, a lot. This wouldn't be such a problem only often you are both convinced that you're in the right based on your personal boundaries and so arguments can be irreparable unless one of you bows down, sets your stubbornness aside and agrees to disagree.

What things did you wish you'd known about friends with benefits, if you've ever been in that position? 

Sammy xo.

If you liked this you might like: Moving Forward - Healthy Relationships

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