Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

There is an idea that haunted my teenage life - the nice guy. Struggling to come to terms with my sexuality was hard enough, but the thing that really messed me up about it? The boys who suggested I didn't like them because I would always pick the stereotypical dick - the age old idea that nice guys finish last. So is it true? Do nice guys really finish last? The more I think about it, the more I think maybe the very eloquently put comment under this Taylor Swift video (wherein Taylor reiterates the same point a lot more elegantly) might be a lot closer to the truth than people like to think;

"Saying you're a 'nice guy' is like saying you have a big dick. If someone feels the need to point it out, they're probably lying."
-Thanks Youtube User Wintermute01001

Where did this come from? This idea that all girls want to date a guy that we have to constantly worry if he likes us, a guy who never texts back and always has the number of other girls just like us? Who decided that this was a thing that girls do? I'm not saying I haven't dated my fair share of them in the past, but I'm sure it wasn't those personality traits that drew me towards them - they were just poor traits underlying, guarded by ones that I fell in love with so fondly. Just like some guys will fall in love with girls who cheat and lie, some girls will - but that doesn't mean all of us will knowingly choose to fish from that pond and that pond only.

The thing is, it's not just guys - it's people; and not just the nice ones, that will finish last at least once in their life. I will fall in love with more people that it won't work out with than people it will, I will meet more people that inadvertently end up being my friends (both male and female) than I will ones that end up in relationships with me - that's just life. Some people will love others more than me, whether that person is pleasant or otherwise... Surely it has nothing to do with being nice, or not nice, and everything to do with timing, ideals, compatibility. For every nice guy that finishes last out there, I'm sure there's an appalling one crossing the finish line with him - only when you don't want to date someone they aren't likely to throw their hands up in surrender and agree, "Hey, fair play, I'm a plank - I completely understand and respect your decision!" it's all too easy to say, "Well, it's true what they say, nice people always finish last."

Maybe the honest fact is simple - it's not that nice people finish last, it's that everybody wants to believe that, at heart, they're a nice person - but some people just aren't. People, as Ed Sheeran so commonly reminds us, fall in love in mysterious ways - sometimes, we're not going to see the attraction in the person they fall in love with, but that doesn't make them a less nice person than you. So, maybe if you have to keep telling people what a nice person you are (and how nice people always finish last) when you get knocked back - you need to have a good hard look at whether you really are a nice person. After all, for a start you're completely disrespecting somebody's choice to leave a relationship or partnership they're not comfortable in - and that's not very nice in itself. Finally, to all those boys who thought I didn't want them because they were nice and I wanted a bad boy? I actually was just really, really into girls - both of the good and bad variety. To be fair though, most of you really weren't all that nice, anyway.

Do you think good people always finish last?

Sammy xo.

If you liked this you might like: The Slut Thing

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