Friday, 20 March 2015

Is Dating Harder In The Modern Age?

So, it might not have been a Tinder relationship, but I met the person that I'm dating online. We ended up at the same event together and, as time went by, Twitter conversations and Facebook group chats led to texts, until eventually we were talking almost daily and she asked me out on a date - now we're a few weeks in and, I don't want to speak too soon, but things are good. As we share a fair amount of Twitter followers, our dates were fairly public from the start - but is that a good thing, or has technology only made dating in the modern age more difficult?

Red Heart

When I was in school, I'm only minorly ashamed to say that when I was looking up potential partners, I was known to do a little... research. I no longer needed to just ask around my friends (although I often did) because, with a few clicks of a mouse, I could easily find out what circles the person was a part of, what TV shows they liked (at the time, people liked groups seriously - for all you younger people out there, I know that might seem weird) and whether they had a girlfriend. As I've gotten older, it's only been easier to find the entire history of someone with a single click, whether you want to or not. We live a life in which seeing people's interaction is instantaneous, and not always pleasant or wanted - it's rapidly become typical to meet people on dating sites only after learning all the basic traits about them, basing someone's suitability before even allowing them to plead a case.

I admit that I am bad for integrating social media into a date. Before eating on dates in the last few weeks, there are matching Instagram posts from different angles, we update pictures of each other doing whatever we are as it happens, sometimes we're even guilty of talking to each other via twitter whilst sitting hand in hand. The virtual world and our real world is interlinked, and so it's natural that our dating would bleed into this - especially as we both run lifestyle blogs, it's natural that this part of our lives would become at least somewhat public knowledge. Is it different? Yes, of course. Is it bad? No, not in my eyes. Technology has changed the way that we live, for better or for worse - it is an instantaneous portrait of our lives right now, and that's going to include relationships and beyond.

So is dating harder in the modern age? I think it's more brutally honest - but you can take from that what you will. It's much harder to be anything less than upfront when your life is out there on multiple platforms to be fact checked against, whether intentionally or otherwise. Contrary to every RomCom ever made - I think it's actually harder to lie about your life on the internet, and the more social networks become household names, the more true that will become. You can catfish, sure, but once somebody has checked it's the real you on Facebook or Twitter, the jigs up - your friends, family and even vague acquaintances are there to handily correct you if you misinform anybody. Is dating harder in the modern age? Maybe, but it's so fun to live watch other people's relationships grow - some of you even have ship names from me.

Do you think dating is harder with modern technology?

Sammy xo.

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