Sunday, 8 March 2015

Life On The Internet

Having a lifestyle blog is a bit of a weird one - you need a life to write one, and yet a life sort of gets in the way of having one. When I'm writing about living, I'm not out there doing it - and when I'm out there living, I'm not writing about doing it; it's a tough one, a hard balance. It gets ever harder when it comes to having to decide what should and shouldn't go on the internet - I run from a single twitter and instagram account, and so it's inevitable that a lot of my life is out there for people to see; especially given that some of that interaction in real life is often lately with other people that own blogs - things can often sort of bleed into each other, with the line between real life and internet life becoming near transparent.

I've never been one to shy away from throwing my personal life online - whilst my Facebook remains ominously quiet, my twitter is usually abuzz with jokes, stories and snippets of life that only I am amused by. My blog has always been a bit of an emotional upchuck - all the thoughts buzzing around my head thrown down onto a page, with little in the way of a brain to mouth filter. I've always liked it this way - most of my crap spread out across a page. It was honest, brutal and raw sometimes, but you all responded to it, pulled me into the community, and I've never looked back.

Girls On A Leather Couch
(The picture of me and the ever beautiful Katy rightfully belongs to Emma)

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't love the blog community - it's like a ready made pack of friends with at least one thing in common. It's a strange connection - a world in which you know everybody without meeting most of them, and when it's good - it's good; a big happy family, support and advice. It can be nasty, and bitter - you can fall out with people that you never really knew to fall out with, you can fall into strange acquaintances that would likely never happen outside of the blog world - and yet it brought my best friends into my life. It is a strange, twofold world that I feel lucky to be a part of. Putting myself out there has been empowering, satisfying, humbling - but it also creates an insane amount of pressure. With my problems, relationships and future all developing in front of an audience, no matter how seemingly small to most people, it can be overwhelming to deal with. I feel like I'm constantly balanced between writing how I feel, and trying to find the line where writing about things becomes too much. It's a tough learning curve, and one that I'm still struggling to get used to.

I'm not complaining; this is a choice. As bloggers, we choose to put at least some of our lives online - whether it be the little bits of make-up that we love, the fashion that we wear, the milestones of our children, or the struggles in our lives. Finding the balance can be difficult, you're allowing your life to be read about, to be judged, to have people's opinions on it whether you like them, or ask for them, or not. Blogging is a hobby, but it's so much more than that - it's putting your life out there in one form or another for people to see, and bear with me as I figure out where the line should go as to things I want on here, and things I'm not quite ready to project out for the world to see.

How much life do you put on the internet?

Sammy xo.

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