Friday, 7 August 2015

Do I Have To Love Myself First?

A few nights ago - I stumbled across a tweet. It was a strongly worded tweet, sure, but not an offensive one - more than anything it just left me pondering a point; the tweet in question simply pointed out how ridiculous it is that some supposedly positive people suggest the only way people will love you is if you're able to love yourself.  This is a sentiment that I've seen a lot of - not only online but generally growing up - but is it really true?

I'm not a massive fan of myself. On good days, I can see my positive attributes, on bad days I see little good in myself - just like, I'm sure, most other people around me. Do I love myself? No. Far from it. The issues I have with myself prevent me from having a loving relationship with myself. Does that mean nobody loves me? No, once again - or at least I hope my parents, friends, family and girlfriend love me. I have loved many people who had no love for themselves - just because there are some things that prevent people from seeing their own worth, that doesn't make them less beautiful, less intelligent, less humorous.

Love Yourself First Quote

This sentiment, although supposedly well-meaning, is actually pretty harmful. When you're in a place wherein you struggle to love yourself - surely the last thing you need is a suggestion that nobody else will love you either? Loving yourself is hard, much harder than most people give you credit for, and it's something all of us are likely to struggle with at some point or another - and even for the best of people I imagine it comes with time, experience and support amongst a million other things. If nobody was ever loved until they loved themselves - maybe nobody would ever come to love themselves.

People seeing your worth is a part of it all - Katy seeing my humour, my Mum and Dad seeing my intelligence, they all help me love myself. It's not that you need other people to love you in order to find some self love, it's just that undoubtedly there is at least one person who will help you along the way. Loving yourself first is an old fashioned, untrue concept - and when you think maybe nobody loves you because you can't find it in you to love yourself; think of every time you've reassured a friend of their beauty, wit, knowledge. Your inability to see what it is that other people love about you certainly doesn't mean that there is nothing to be loved.

What do you think of the idea that you have to love yourself first?

Sammy xo.

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