Thursday, 22 December 2016

2017 Body Goals

Following on from yesterday's post on embracing my flaws, I have some goals for my body for next year. These aren't lose a ton of weight and become a bodybuilder, they're just physical goals that I have for myself for the next year or so. In the past year, my recovery has come first which means that I've not been being healthy when it comes to food as I've been too focused on getting through each day, and each week, and each month; but now I want to get back into the swing of things and work on myself to try and be a little healthier.

1: Be Able To Run Five Miles
Not that you'd be able to tell now, but I used to run a lot when I was in school, and it's a habit that I've fallen out of. At the minute, I'm living at Katy's and so we're right by the beach, so it seems as good a time as any to get back into running. I don't think I'm going to be running a marathon any time soon, but five miles seems not too out of reach, and so that's what I'm aiming for in 2017 (to clarify, I mean without having to stop halfway to gulp down air. So run five miles comfortably is what I really mean).

2: Get Back To A Size Twelve
I'm not excessively concerned about my weight, but I would like to get back to a healthier size for me personally, and that's only losing about a dress size which doesn't seem like anything too drastic. This is more of a health thing than a vanity thing, I often worry about my health and so I don't think shedding a dress size would do me too much harm.

3: Drink More Water
My skin is always a ton of shit, and I have no doubt that's because my blood is almost entirely made up of diet coke and orange and pineapple squash. I could do with drinking a lot more water, and maybe 2017 is the time to implement that - I'm not going to be one of those litre bottle carrying people that we all secretly want to be any time soon, but any water is better than no water (aka the amount that I'm taking it right now).

4: Go Outside More
I have a serious vitamin D deficiency that makes me tired and grumpy - I know this is because I've spent the best part of the last two years indoors and so my goal for 2017 is most definitely get out there and boost those vitamin D levels (insert joke about lesbians missing vitamin D here).

So there are my body goals for 2017, what are yours?

Sammy xo.

Wednesday, 21 December 2016

Embracing My Flaws

(TW: Mentions of scars, self harm, eating issues)

This was a post that I knew I'd wanted to write for Positive December since the idea came to me - but I keep putting it off. As much as I'm coming to terms with myself as a person I still have a hundred flaws that I wish were different - and more than I'd like to admit are rooted in how I look physically. I'm not stupid enough to have been through years of self harm, of abusing my body and barely sleeping and overeating and undereating without realising that my body shows some serious signs of it. My journey has been a long one, it's been tough and I'm so proud to come out of the other side, but embracing those flaws has been so difficult, it continues to be difficult every single day, but I'm slowly but surely getting there.

I have scars on my thighs, self inflicted and otherwise. They're unsightly, and where a lot of people worry about stretch marks, I used to worry about the words on my skin. I'm slowly coming to terms with them, I'm learning that I'm not defined by my past and that they're just scars of what I survived. I've learned that, as distressed as I am by those scars, they're only proof of how strong I am as a human, how much I can get through and keep fighting. As much as it's been hard to embrace them, they are almost exclusively positive to me, the more I think about it.

I have stretch marks on the inside of my arms. I've gained and lost weight rapidly a number of times, and they've not fared well. I used to shy away from short sleeved t-shirts, be ashamed of them because I'd never seen them on other women - but the fact is, I'm cute as fuck; a few stretch marks don't change anything. Also, they frame my infinity tattoo and they kind of look like boss little lightning bolts now they're fading, so that's not all bad.

I have a stomach. It's chubby and I have love handles, and I'm never going to be a Victoria's Secret model, but I'm okay with that. I'm a size fourteen, not a size six, and I'm happier now than when I was a hell of a lot smaller. I'm sure in the future I'll want to eat better and get fitter, but the fact is - I've been through alot in the last few years, and so if I want to eat some cake then I'm going to eat some cake. I'm chunky, but I'm hella funky.

I'm full of insecurities - but I definitely think that I'm working on embracing them; if you've got any tips though, I'd love to hear them!

Sammy xo.

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

Thinx Period Pants

I'm all about that eco-friendly, reusable period materials life. Having said that, I bleed a lot - like, a lot, and so it's not really practical for me to rely solely on a cup, as much as I'd like to. I've always backed a cup up with pantyliners or sanitary towels, but it's not always the best way forward and especially not for the kind of period I want to have personally, and so when Thinx offered to send me some period pants; I was all over them. 

For those of you who don't know, Thinx are literally knickers that replace a pad, tampon or cup or they can be used in conjunction with them if, like me, you suffer particularly badly. I'll admit I was more than a little dubious about these. Would they absorb? Would it be like wearing a bikini underneath my clothes? Would it actually be able to hold that much blood without feeling like I was sitting in a pool of my own womb lining? As doubtful as I was, I opted to try the boyshorts in a medium and then anxiously awaited my period.

Now, to be honest, there was absolutely no way I was willing to go entirely Thinx. I respect people that can, but it makes me anxious about leakage and I just bleed to heavily for it to be something that I'm comfortable with in any way, shape or form and so I opted to try them with a menstrual cup as a back up. I waited until my flow was a little lighter so I wasn't going to massively ruin any pyjamas if I leaked and then inevitably forgot to wash them in time to prevent staining, but I have to say that - as good as these are - I'm just not sold.

Although these are soft on the inside, they do feel like neoprene on the outside - presumably to stop any leakage. They're comfortable if you get the right size - but therein lies a problem for me. I didn't want to get a large because I think they'll be too big, and I think that will obviously be detrimental to the anti-leak properties of the knickers, but the medium is just that bit too tight - not cutting-off-my-circulation tight, but they're definitely not-something-I-want-to-wear-when-I'm-cramping-this-bad tight. They undoubtedly do absorb (and I can confirm that I had no leakage) but they just aren't for me, I feel uncomfortable when I'm wearing them, like I'm constantly waiting for a leak. Although they're not bad, we're just not soulmates.

These aren't cheap at $39, but you can reuse them and each purchase helps donations towards girls in third world countries, which is something I'm really behind. Though they're not for me, I would say if you rely solely on pads, these could be a good step for you; especially if your period is on the lighter side. It was a thumbs down from me on these, but let's move onto the next one (which I'm hoping will be reusable cloth pads!)

Sammy xo.

Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.

Monday, 19 December 2016

10 Quick Ways To Boost My Mood

It's easy to get into a lull on a day to day basis, and it's easy to forget that there's absolutely anything out there that can help to improve your mood. Today isn't a long post, it's just ten things that boost my mood personally (and not one includes the dreaded "exercise" word). I write this with cramps, a headache and generally just feeling full of anxiety about life and so it seems as good a time as any to remind myself what 10 things in my life cheer me up, even if it's just a tiny bit.

1: Snuggling the dog
There is literally nothing better than an animal loving you back. I will fight you on this.

2: Snuggling Katy
Okay so there is one thing better, and that's snuggling Katy - she just gets it.

3: Listening to my favourite music
At the minute it's Moana, but singing How Far I'll Go at the top of my voice is definitely helping.

4: Eating Chocolate
Or ice cream, or crisps. Not an excessive amount, but a handful of pringles never went amiss when I've been feeling down.

5: Playing Sims
This is one just to get me out of my own head, but nothing helps in the same way as helping an imaginary person live their life.

6: Watching Gilmore Girls
Or How To Get Away With Murder, or Scandal, or anything that requires me to put some focus in. Once again getting out of my own head.

7: Cooking
I find either cooking or baking is a good way to get through the day when I'm feeling bad. There's something calming about measuring, weighing and mixing.

8: Colouring
I never got the colouring thing until Robyn and Kaz got me a really intricate book for my birthday and now I'm obsessed.

9: Fairy Lights
Just trust me, nothing is quite as calming as switching all of the big lights off and putting fairy lights on.

10: Ranting About It On Twitter
If all else fails, go on Twitter and tell them how shit your day's been. It works. 

So that's what makes me feel better, what makes you feel better?

Sammy xo.

Sunday, 18 December 2016

Feminist Art

Since moving in with Katy our room has become a wonderland filled with feminist art, makeup, books and photographs. Although it's not permanent, the art has really helped me to feel as though I've put my mark on her room and so it feels a little more like mine. We have way too many pieces for me to talk through it all, but I've decided to focus on some of my favourite pieces on our wall, most of which fall at least somewhat into the feminist category. We bought some and were sent some, but all are pieces Katy and I agree will definitely be making the move with us when we finally sort out our own house.

Do Women Have To Be Naked To Get Into The Met. Museum? - Tate Liverpool (£1)
This is actually a piece of work by The Guerilla Girls in 1989 and, although we weren't lucky enough to see the original piece (or rather one of the original pieces) in the Tate Liverpool, when we saw this bookmark in the gift shop, we couldn't resist buying it to add to our wall. I'm not sure to what extent this is still true, but I think that it's definitely worth noting that, however true this remains to be, there were amazing female protestors and artists throughout history highlighting injustice. For Katy and I, this was a really cool thing to see and be able to buy for such an affordable price in such a prestigious place. I just love it, and it only cost us a quid, go and get one if you're by a Tate.

Don't Hate, Educate - Killjoy Designer (£8)
I love supporting up and coming designers, and I really do think that Killjoy Designer is one of the best ones that I've come across in a long while. I have a couple of her prints, but my favourite is definitely this Don't Hate, Educate poster. This a motto both of us try and live by, and so having it on the wall definitely goes a long way to helping me to try and be a lot more positive. I think it's important to remember how vital education is to feminism, and so this is just one of my favourite posters that we've got on the wall at the minute (we also have less shaming, more gaming and I love that one too, the designs are well worth checking out).

Support Bra - Ohh Deer (£0.75)
This one was already up when I moved into Katy's, but I really love it. Although Katy says hers is from Paperchase, it's exactly the same as this print from Ohh Deer, and as I couldn't find one on Paperchase, I've linked that one above instead. This is a cheap little funny print that just amuses me whenever I see it - it's nothing massively inspiring, I just like it a lot.

So those are my favourite pieces of art on our walls at the moment, if you have some favourites then I'd love to hear what they are so I can buy some new pieces!

Sammy xo.
Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.

Saturday, 17 December 2016

Underwear Wishlist

You all know that I'm all about underwear, and there's nothing like a good pair of undies to get you feeling like you're a boss ass bitch that can take over the world. I rapidly swing between wanted all of the comfortable underwear, and only wanting underwear that mimics Blair Waldorf whenever she takes her clothes off in Gossip Girl, but for now this is the underwear that I'm lusting after.

1: Ornamental Embroidered Balcony Bra - Marks and Spencer (£22.50)
This is sort of an everyday bra for me, I would always go for lace without padding, and this burgundy colour is just something really pretty. Marks and Spencer do killer underwear, and don't dismiss it just because you think it looks a little old fashioned on the hanger, because some of my sexiest underwear has been found in the depths of M&S. This isn't something that is going to blow you out of the water, but having said that I think it's a sexy choice for Monday when you're headed into university but you want to treat your partner when you get back, or just if you generally want to feel boss.

2: Pandora Longline Plunge Bra - Freya at Figleaves (£34.00)
This style is something that I used to love when I was sixteen and seventeen, sort of like a bralet but with actual cups. These aren't as comfortable as you might imagine, but they make me feel confident like you wouldn't believe. I'm usually all about plain black underwear, but I absolutely love the gentle splashes of colours on this that just make it look a little more girly. This is more expensive, but you know it's going to be good quality, and you know you're going to feel boss af when you're wearing it.

3: Open Back Sheer Lace Knickers - Lovehoney (£9.99)
I'm so about these - business at the front, party at the back. I used to have a similar pair of these from Ann Summers and, as nice as they were, they just seemed to look a little tacky and low quality, but I've had some underwear from Lovehoney and it's pretty good quality, so I think I'd be happy splashing out on these, especially as they're less than a tenner.

4: Christalina Bra In Silver - Agent Provocateur (£395)
Now let's be clear, there is absolutely no way I would be splashing out £400 on a bra even if I could afford that, but you have to admit that Agent Provocateur is something entirely different. This silver bra that looks like leaves looks like it belongs in the hunger games, and the additional straps just look so lovely that I found myself trying to justify saving near on £400 entirely for this bra (not the set guys, the bra).

5: Georgia Plunge Bra - Ann Summers (£28)
Finally, we end on something that's a little more affordable and that's this gorgeous soft red set from Ann Summers. Ann Summers underwear can be a little hit and miss for me, but this is pretty similar to the Agent Provocateur set in terms of the harnesses adding a little something, but this is one that I realistically could justify buying. So pretty, and I could even afford the knickers to go with it. Bonus.

So there's the underwear that I'm lusting after at the minute, if there's anything you're loving, I'd love to see it!

Sammy xo.

Friday, 16 December 2016

Microblading - What Is It?

I'm all about a strong brow - but, unfortunately for me, I definitely wasn't blessed with one by nature. If you ask Katy the most annoying thing about me, or arguably even the most defining thing about me, it'll be that it takes me a solid hour and a half to do my makeup every morning, and about 75% of that time is spent drawing in the eyebrows I wish I had been naturally blessed with. So, when I was asked to speak about Microblading (not sponsored, not even on a gifting basis - just a favour for a company I really respect and like) I jumped at the chance, because it's something I wish I could afford and something I mention a lot to my friends, and they're always really interested, so I thought I'd share it on here.

Karen Betts is the woman to go to for all things brows, but her microblading technique has me fascinated. Microblading is, essentially, a more natural way to tattoo eyebrows and, as you might imagine, it essentially involves using a small blade to 'cut' in hair shapes, then fill them with pigment (trust me, I've watched so many videos and as painful as that sounds, it genuinely does seem to be more discomfort than pain). Karen Betts' method includes using a handheld device, and they draw the hairs in using different specially formulated pigments to blend with your natural hair, and make sure the hairs are different lengths and directions in order to better mimic a more natural brow.

As new as microblading is to the beauty world, Karen has some impressive accomplishments under her belt, with 20 years microblading experience and her elite team who are all trained in the art of the perfect microblading technique - and so I think it's safe to say that if you go there, you're in safe hands. Worrying about your brows looking too harsh because all you can think of is the 90's style tattooed brow? Me too, but I found a list of celebrities that have had it done, and to be honest - I can't even tell half of them have non-natural brows, so that says a lot about how good the technique is.

Obviously, one of the big downfalls of microblading is that you need to be sure that you go to a good artist, and they're not easy to find. For me Karen has been someone whose work I've long admired, especially as one of her studios isn't far from my house in Cheshire - but the general rule of thumb is go to a good artist (and Karen has other studios too, in London and Pontefract). In general, google it, check reviews, look at portfolios and when you're in doubt probably don't go.

So I think that I've covered pretty much all that I wanted to in this post - and as I said, it's not an ad, I wasn't paid, and I'm not working with Karen on a gifting basis, it just seemed a good thing to talk about when you know how passionate I am about brows. If any of you have had your brows microbladed, I'd love to know!

Sammy xo.

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Best Memories Of 2016

2016 has been a pretty shitty year, and I think I speak for all of us when I say that. Haven't said that - it hasn't been all bad, and so I think that it's time that we reflect on the things in 2016 that didn't completely suck. They're personal things, obviously, because there's very little outside of my non-personal life that could make up for the heartbreak that I felt over Brexit and Trump, but nevertheless, here are my best memories of 2016.

1: Getting Engaged
Obviously. Meeting Katy as a new, healthier person and developing our relationship to the point where we got engaged was definitely my favourite of all of my 2016 memories. I don't think anything will ever measure up to me shouting literally yes whilst wearing a christmas jumper, and nothing will ever be greater than the can of carlsberg in the back of every photo we took to celebrate. Carlsberg don't do weddings, but if they did...

2: Poland 2016
An unexpected highlight of 2016 was meeting my best friends, Kaz and Robyn. Being surrounded by inspiring women on a regular basis is something I haven't ever really have, but Katy, Kaz, Robyn and Caitlin are some of the most inspiring, funny, most intelligent people I know. Without Poland we definitely wouldn't have connected on the same level, and I'm just so glad for those few days drinking vodka and pissing on the balcony that brought us so much closer together.

3: University
Making it to university, meeting all of my new friends and becoming the kind of person who argues to the deal about female characters in literature will always be one of my favourite memories of 2016. It's been a hard slog, it's included far too many essays and I've enjoyed only approximately 22% of it, but I'm still proud of myself every single day when it comes to the fact that I made it to uni and I'm there most days shouting my head off.

4: Finding my voice
To be honest, my favourite memory of this year has been the extent to which I've found my voice. I've gone from a timid little mouse to a girl screaming about things that matter to her to anybody that will listen. All in all, this is definitely my favourite memory.

So there's my favourite memories of 2016, seems like it hasn't been such a bad shitshow for me personally after all. What good things happened to you this year?

Sammy xo.

Monday, 12 December 2016

Sex Toys I'd Recommend To Everyone

And by everybody I clearly mean consenting adults, but I just felt like it goes without saying. It honestly often shocks me how many of my friends don't have much in the way of toys or sex aids in their collection; and although I'm not one to judge or weigh in on other's sex lives, I just find myself wanting to give them some tips and recommend some sex toys that I can't believe that I ever lived without. As I often don't say it, I thought instead that I would make a comprehensive list of sex toys that I'd recommend to everybody, and so if you're in the market - perhaps these would be a good place to start.

1: Bullet Vibrators
I mean any kind of vibrators, but notably bullets as they're the most powerful and, usually, the cheapest. The thing about adding a vibrator into your sex life, in my opinion, is that it doesn't have to be used in inherently sexual ways - I love the feel of it on my skin and you can definitely make it a more sensual experience than a typically sexual one. Having said that - there's very little in the way of using a bullet wrong, and so grab one and use it how it suits you; I near guarantee it will become a part of your sex life on a more regular basis than you'd imagine.

2: Cock Rings
There was an entire uproar on twitter a few days ago when I recommended their use with strap ons or dildos, but they're made to mimic real dicks and so of course anything you can use on a real penis (including but not limited to cock rings and condoms) will also likely be fine on a silicone one. A cock ring is very versatile if you're into penetration in any way, shape or form and so whether the penis in question is a replica or a real one, I'd suggest that a cock ring would be a really good addition to your sex life.

3: Massage Oil
One of the best ways to get in the mood for sex, or just a good way to pamper your partner, is a massage and though you can use just about any lotion, I would suggest investing in massage oil as it really added something to our personal life when we did. Obviously be careful what you use too close to your genitals (both generally and if you're going to be using condoms as your method of birth control), but massage oil is definitely one of the best things that we ever  invested in.

I could go on for tons more, but I figured that we'd ease people in. If you have sex toys that you'd recommend to most people, leave them below!

Sammy xo.

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Rocks Off Rock Chic Mini Review

Let's talk about Rocks Off which is, by the way, the best name I can think of for a sex toy company. We have a lot of toys and so it does take something that really hits the spot, excuse the pun, in order to really wow me and make me want to tell all of my friends about it (or at least all of my internet friends, my real friends aren't quite as open minded). That's where Rocks Off's Rock Chic Mini comes into play - affordable, small enough to store away or carry with you when you're travelling, and just generally a really good sex toy.

I have to say I wish that this wasn't called Rock Chic, and I wish it wasn't written on the side in such cutesy lettering because that just makes it feel a bit cheap - but all is forgiven when you switch this little sucker on. It's curved into a gentle C shape which allows for simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation, which is nice as stimulation goes - and it just feels intense in the best possible way. There are 7 vibration patterns and so this is a good one for beginners, and it'll stick as one of your favourites as you go on I'd imagine, there's a speed and vibration pattern for everybody!

Katy wants it on record that she tried this one and when I asked her opinion just now she said, 'yeah I liked it' which sounded pretty untrue but having been there, I can assure you that this was the case. On the whole, although we have a lot of vibrators and a fair few G-Spot stimulators, combining the two in one toy is just something that we hadn't really tried before, and I found it more than pleasant. It's easy to insert, comfortable to wear, and it isn't going to fall out when you use it on your own, or when the vibrations are going strong - all of which are a bonus.

This is easy to clean, and easy to store - but the few criticisms that I have are mainly related to the design. I wish this came in a better design, as aforementioned, and I wish that it came in other colours than pink and purple, because I'm all about a sleek black sex toy - but the biggest problem is with the button/switch location, which is at the bottom of the outside curve of the toy. Although I didn't imagine this to be a problem, having successfully used a bullet with a similar design in the past, the fact that for this toy you're simultaneously trying to rock the toy and move the vibrator means that I've caught it and changed the vibration pattern at the wrong time more than a couple of times.

All in all, it's one of the best toys I've used, in term of it actually works and how good it feels in terms of use; but I wish that the design was a bit different to suit me more personally. Having said that, it's under £30 on Harmony Store and I don't think that's really anything to be sniffed out, so if it sounds like your thing then I'd definitely recommend it.

Sammy xo.
Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.

Friday, 9 December 2016

Five Of My Greatest Achievements

I think that it's really hard to focus on yourself and all the amazing things that you've achieved. I know that, for me personally, I find it much easier to focus on all the things that I didn't do to the best of my abilities, and so I often overlook the things that I've done that have truly been amazing and changed me for the better. Today I'm celebrating all of my biggest achievements, big, small, personal or very public; here are five of my greatest achievements.

1: Making It Here
Both a public and private struggle - but you all know how bad the last few years were for me. Nevertheless, I blossomed and grew and I'm not only here, which is an achievement in itself, but I'm also striving, better than ever and working hard towards my future. It might not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but making it to the age of 23 was something that I just never thought I'd ever manage to do, and so the fact that I'm here now is pretty sound.

2: University
I don't know how many times I dramatically threaten to drop out of university on a weekly basis, but I am so proud that I made it here. I've gone from being a little shit in school to being a grown up shit in University, but I love learning about the things that I've chosen to study, I love that I'm finally back in an environment that I love and I bloody love that I can swear in seminars, in fact it's actively encouraged.

3: My Engagement
From breaking up the first time, I really changed as a person. I grew, became more compassionate, more confident and more sure of myself, and all of this lead back to a second try with Katy and, ultimately, our engagement. I couldn't be more pleased with how this all worked out for me, and although this engagement itself might not be something I would call an achievement (more a miraculous stroke of luck), the steps that I took that allowed it to happen are definitely some of my biggest achievements.

4: Mental health and Little Fickle
One of my biggest achievements now, and always, will be the choice to write about my mental health on the internet. It's been the hardest, most aggravating, most upsetting experience of my life - I've cried writing posts, cried reading them back, written trigger warning, after trigger warning, after trigger warning. But now I look back and I look at the messages that I received, the amount of people that said I was a part of provoking them to talk about their mental illness - and I could swell with pride at the fact that a severely depressed girl from her bedroom, and her recovery, helped so many people by sharing her journey.

5: Me, myself and I
Mostly, one of my biggest achievements is just me - the person that I've become, the person that I'm striving towards being every day. It's easy to forget that I created this whole person, and I make mistakes on the regular - but I am a warrior, a force to be reckoned with, and a pretty sound mate.

What are your biggest achievements?

Sammy xo.

Thursday, 8 December 2016

Menstrual Cup 101

You may all know that I have chosen to opt for a menstrual cup to take care of all things period related each month, and that's a decision that hasn't come easily. It's stemmed (no pun intended) from a pure fear of tampons - and grown to me being an ambassador, convincing friends, family, and any women that I meet in life to give the little plastic marvels at least a go. I often wish that I have known they were an option as a thirteen year old struggling with heavy periods that really weren't suitable to me using pads, and so I thought I'd share some wisdom with those of you dubious to start.

You have to change them less. On the whole, anyway - because they don't tend to leak, they don't really feel uncomfortable as you bleed more or less, and they can hold a lot more than a pad (and arguably, just as much as a tampon). This means that I often only change mine two or three times a day, which is neither here nor there at home, but means I don't have to worry too much about finding a stall with a sanitary disposal bin when I'm at uni - which is something Chester really needs to step itself up on, but nevertheless it's good to not need them at all.

They're much more eco friendly. No chucking waste and plastic into the sea or into landfills! One will last you much longer! Save the whales, bees, planet etc. etc. Seriously though, this alone would probably be enough to help convince me make the move if I haven't already fallen in love with a good Divacup, but I do thing that it's not something to be brushed over because a huge selling point of a menstrual cup comes from the sheer lack of waste.

You don't need to carry tons of stuff around with you. Gone of the days of trying to work out how many pads that I'd need in the day so I didn't have to carry more than necessary, gone are the days of rationing them so I didn't run out if I'd calculated wrong. Instead, I just have a handy little bag with the cup inside, and when I need to change it, whip it out, clean it and pop it back in. Easy as pie, and no rustling plastic in the toilet making it sound like you're eating a packet of Walkers on the sly (something that never bothered me, but advertising leads me to believe this is an issue for women everywhere).

This isn't a propaganda post, though, so it's worth noting that if you're buying a cup they come in tons of different firmnesses, and tons of different sizes. It's taken a solid six cups to find the one that I feel most comfortable with, and it's been a trial and error type affair. Additionally, it's worth noting that these are expensive and there's very little in the way of choice in physical shops; lest we never forget the day that I forgot my cup and had to shell out £20 for a bloody mooncup in Manchester Piccadilly Boots. 

So that's the first installment of menstrual cup 101, please do leave anything else in the comments!

Sammy xo.

Wednesday, 7 December 2016


Let's not even keep up with the suspense, because you all know that Katy and I got engaged on Saturday 3rd December 2016. It's been a long journey for the two of us, and a weird one, but we're finally here - there's a ring on my finger, we have a bed and a room that belongs to both of us and we're here, and engaged, and it's been so, so worth it. I feel as though you've all followed us from day one: from the body shop event where we met, through to when we were dating, through to our breaking up, getting back together, and now our engagement.

Our relationship was founded by, and cemented by, the internet - and so it only seems right and fair that I share this special moment with you. I've chosen, for the most part, to not put a picture of the ring up on my twitter - in order to keep some parts of the engagement to ourselves, but you've all seen the pictures of the moment that I said yes, we had hundreds of likes, favourites and congratulations. If we invite all of you to the wedding, we're looking at a solid thirty years worth of saving. Having said that - you've followed the journey until now and I have no doubt that you'll follow it right the way through to the (hopefully) happy ending.

So I've been gone from positive December for a few days, but I'm sure that you'll agree that it was for a good enough reason, and a positive enough reason. I'm so happy to be engaged, and there's some kinks that need to be ironed out in the long run, but for now - we have everything we want and can afford to do right now under control. We have amazing friends, a future to look forward to, and the chance to get married and move out in the next few years. It's all looking good.

So positive December is back properly tomorrow, but for now here's today's dose of positivity.

Sammy xo.

Friday, 2 December 2016

Go Fuck Yourself

Now let's be fair - I didn't come up with this title, Katy did. But, irregardless - today we are talking about masturbation in relationships - because for some reasons, amongst my friends this seems to be a thing that just doesn't happen. Masturbation, whether you're single or not, is a huge part of a healthy sex life - and, in my relationship, it's a huge part of our combined sex life. Masturbation isn't about displaying your pleasure for other people, but rather finding your own pleasure and, in a relationship, it can be a lot about teaching your partner how to pleasure you.

I think it's important to firstly clarify that there's nothing selfish or disrespectful about enjoying masturbation on your own whilst you're in a relationship - it's a time I use to really focus on myself, my likes and my pleasure; it helps me calm down, it helps me sleep and I'd be lying if I say that I don't masturbate at times when Katy isn't here. It's a natural part of who I am, and not everything about my want to orgasm is about wanting to have sex with another person, sometimes it's about wanting to love myself, and spend some time enjoying my own body.

Having said that - masturbation, both solo and mutual, is a huge part of my relationship. It's healthy, and it helps me to work out what someone else does to pleasure themselves so I can learn better and use it to pleasure them when I'm having sex with them. Additionally, logistically, in a lesbian relationship this is just really helpful - I can only move my fingers in a certain way, and sometimes it helps to have my partner using her hands on any spots I'm missing, and similarly sometimes I want to bridge the gap when I know she just can't reach that spot that I'd like stimulated on top of what she is doing.

I've read so many articles about masturbation being disrespectful to the other partner, about it showing a lack of desire - and that's not true at all. I know full well that Katy masturbating shows no disrespect to me, it's nothing to do with a lack of desire for me - because masturbation is nothing to do with me unless I personally am doing it. Someone else's choice to get themselves off is a personal one, it's a choice about them and celebrating themselves, their body, and their sexuality, and it's nobody else's place to be annoyed about that, or to feel unloved because of it.

So let's embrace masturbation, let's touch ourselves and know that it's about us and nobody else. Let's embrace it as a huge, helpful part of our relationships, and know that it's healthy and most people do it. 

Sammy xo.

Thursday, 1 December 2016

Welcome To Positive December

White rabbit, pinch punch the first of the month, etc. etc. Welcome to my favourite month of the year, my birth month, December. This December, Little Fickle is forgoing the usual beauty posts, we're putting aside the haircare and lifestyle posts - and instead, we're going positive. Sex, period, self and body positive, with a new post going live every single day covering one of those topics. In addition to this, you'll find me over on Twitter unboxing a new sex toy every single day (with the help of Lovehoney) using the hashtag #SamsSexToys and talking about sex positivity and new toys in a safe, comfortable environment.

I hope you'll all join me in celebrating a whole month of just positivity, come and chat to me and tell me what you'd like to see and I'll see you all on the other side!

Sammy xo.

Wednesday, 30 November 2016

November Degustabox

One of the best things about living with another blogger is definitely the fact that you can share their photos when you forget to take your own, and so picture credit to Katy (she did say I could use them).

I love Degustabox day, and this month's was even better than normal because November's box is the Christmas box, and you know I'm all about that; and they didn't let me down, so you best steel yourself for crackers, drinks and chocolate galore. As usual, there's a discount code to go alongside and so if you read this and decide you want a box, head on over to Degustabox and use the code OXNGO for £7 off, which isn't to be sniffed at! I don't get anything in return, you just get a really good deal.

Let's start with the drinks, because we all know that I love it when I get a good drink (or a stiff drink) in my degustabox - and so I was pretty pleased to see two bottles of The Good Cider Of San Sebastian nestled in there, and I can't wait to get these open around Christmas, but right now they're burning a hole in the fridge until a more "appropriate" time to drink them (aka. not 9am on a Wednesday). I did also get a Glitter Berry J2O which is a nice addition for those who don't drink, plus the bottle is cute af. I also got a set of cartons of apple juice from Appy Kids Co. which I was, quite honestly, disproportionately excited about; I love some juice and these have pictures of the Gruffalo on the front (I just remembered this are in the fridge and actually might go and grab one before I finish off this post). Great if you've got kids, great if you're a kid at heart.

Next, let's talk about snack bits - because you know that I'm all about a good snack - and so let's start with the butter crisps from Jules Destrooper. Despite the misleading name, these are actually wafer like biscuits, and they're soft, buttery and good for Christmas morning when you're looking for something sweet to eat without entering into the dangerous "opening your selection box territory. In addition to these there were a packet of Pipers Crisps in Wild Thyme and Rosemary - which I knew that I was going to like because I absolutely love their Chorizo crisps, and these didn't disappoint. There was also some good old Butterkist, and who doesn't like Butterkist? There was a small packet of cinema sweet and a big packet of the new Chocolate Mallow flavour - I'm not sure if I loved or hated the latter, but I did manage to eat an entire packet, so take from that what you will.

Chocolate's next - and there were two little bits in this box; the Brodericks Brothers Handmade Rice Crispy Peanut Butter Bar which, I have it on good authority was really, really tasty, and also the Michel Et Augustin dark chocolate and sea salt cookies, which Katy's Mum didn't stop talking about for what seemed like about an hour. There was also a couple of packets of glitter jelly, and you know that I'm all about that shit.

Finally onto the more practical, but less exciting bits. Let's start with the tea that made me a little emotional and reminiscent over my old job at a swiss restaurant, and that's the pear and cinnamon strudel Ahmad's Tea. These are adorable tea bags and I absolutely can't wait to delve into them, but I do keep on forgetting, so there's that. On top of these there were two boxes of crackers (obviously being saved for Christmas) which were Ryvita Caramelised Onion Thins - the black pepper ones of these used to be my ultimate favourite lunch offering) and also some Cracked Black Pepper Crackers which look fab, so they'll be good come Christmas. The final, and least interesting offering in my opinion, is pepper sauce from Christian Potier, which will undoubtedly get used but will likely sit in the cupboard for a fair while since.

So there's November's Degustabox - let me know what you thought and what bits you've tried and loved if you got the box too!

Sammy xo.
Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.

Tuesday, 29 November 2016


Feeling like I belong is something that I think I've always struggled with; not so much in school and in friendships but more as in the last few years I've never really known where to call home. With Katy, I lived in Chester in what was her house, and although I didn't really belong there I felt as though I never really belonged at my Mum and Dad's either, same when I was between houses with my ex boyfriend, and now that I'm back with Katy I'm living in her house that still feels very much like hers, but I don't feel like Mum and Dad's is really my home either anymore.

It's not a reflection on anybody else, or the places that I'm living, or even on myself - it's a reflection of what I need, that I need the comfort and stability of being in a place that's for me, a place that I call mine. Katy has done everything she can to make this room my home, and in many ways it is - but I don't think I'll settle until I'm in a place that I can really put my stamp on, a place that seems ours and is at least semi-permanent, a place to really start our future in.

Belonging is really tough - because there's no real way that you can force yourself to belong; you can feel comfortable, and happy, and safe and still feel as though this space that you're living in really isn't actually your space. I am so grateful to Katy's parents for letting me live here, I love playing with the dog, curling up in front of their fire, I love helping to put the shopping away - I literally love it here, but the place just doesn't really feel like my house, I'm just not sure that I really fit here.

There's no real point to this post, except to ask if anyone has any tips, and to help myself get it out and move forward.

Sammy xo.

Monday, 28 November 2016

Giorgio Armani Beaute

Until a few weeks ago I hadn't really tried anything from Giorgio Armani Beaute, but now I feel as though I could talk about different offerings that I really like until I'm blue in the face. I have a fair few bits to talk about overall, but I've decided to focus on four main things that I think are likely to be the things people are most likely to be asking for when Christmas rolls around, and so I thought that these could be the most helpful. Armani really, really isn't cheap and so I think it's good to see whether or not these live up to the expectation before you spend any cash buying them for yourself.

Right, let's start with Luminous Silk Foundation. I have the lightest colour which is, bizarrely, number 2 - and to give it it's dues, it's a really good colour match and the bottle even has a pump (although personally I'd expect that for £37). This foundation just really isn't for me, however, I find it to be way too thin and - although I've been told at events that this can be built up to a full coverage - I just haven't managed to make it a heavy enough coverage for my liking, even using a sponge or a flat top kabuki. This lasts well, and it gives Katy's dry skin a really lovely luminous finish (as the name would suggest), but if you're looking for something that's really going to give some coverage, I probably wouldn't recommend this one, especially not for the price.

Next up is the Fluid Sheer Highlighter - and to be honest I can't even find the colour that I have of this online, but I will tell you that it, again, is number 2. This is a soft peach, pink sort of colour with a lot of sparkle, and I've been using it as a highlighter (you just pat it on and tap to blend) but Katy has been using it as a primer underneath her foundation and that looks amazing too. I'm not normally one for cream/liquid highlighter, but this one really does work for me and - although it's not cheap at £36.50 - I'd definitely say it's worth the money.

Finally I have an Eye Tint in number 7, and a Lip Maestro in 513. I've lumped these together because I have less to say about them - but I do like both of these a lot. The eye tint has a long doe foot applicator and blends out really well, it's subtle and soft and generally just really pretty - my one downside of this product is that, personally, I just wouldn't be spending £27 on a liquid eyeshadow when, realistically, you could probably find something really similar in boots for a solid fifth of the price. The Lip Maestro is absolutely beautiful and sets down to be almost matte - however, this is also £27 and truthfully, it just really doesn't stay well enough for me to justify spending that amount of money on the lip product. I'd say stick to drug store options, or other more reliable high end options for these two, personally.

So there's my honest thoughts on these, you might think I'm being negative - but I'm just giving honest reviews, especially given the high end nature of the products. If you've tried any of the products and agree or disagree, please do let me know.

Sammy xo.
Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.

Sunday, 27 November 2016

Tips For Bad Days

As Winter rolls in, so do deadlines and so does my anxiety. It's not unbearable, but it's definitely worse than when I'm living life to the max in the Summer and so I've come to formulate a set of tips for bad days in the hope that what helps me just might help you if you need the tips. Obviously no tips are all inclusive, and we all deal with different things in different ways - but it's worth trying a lot of tips to see what works for you personally (and if that's not on this list, then let people know in the comments and we can do a tip share).

1: Write It Down
This is one of the most valuable coping mechanisms that I learned during therapy. When I'm feeling bad, it can feel like it's doubled or tripled as it continuously flows around my head - and so, I find that writing things down on bad days can really help. When I feel better, I either read back on this and try to solve some problems, or I just rip it up and throw it away - whatever appeals to me on the day. It's not a cure all, at all, but it's definitely a practical way to get those feelings out and start to turn your day around at least a little bit.

2: Take The Time Out
I always feel really guilty for taking time out of my life to just regroup, keep my head above water and give myself some time to wallow. Never feel guilty for staying in bed late, for avoiding situations every now and again upset you - take time away from social media, cancel social plans, do whatever you need to do in order to get back on your feet. There's no shame in the need to regroup and work on yourself.

3: Take Care Of Yourself
This is one of the most important ones for me - take care of yourself. Get a shower, change your clothes - push yourself to take your medication and eat and drink even when it's the last thing in the world that you want to do. Eat chocolate, watch Gilmore Girls and make sure that you're doing everything that you can to make sure that, in the long run, you're going to be okay. 

If you have tips on what you do on bad days, please do let me know!

Sammy xo.

Saturday, 26 November 2016

New In Fragrance

Literally just right this minute, as I sat down to start writing this post, I suddenly realised that I have no idea how to write about fragrance. It's so subjective and differs so slightly for each seperate person that I suddenly feel as though there's a lot riding on this post; especially when perfume is so expensive and it's Christmas coming up. Having said that; I have a few perfumes now in my new in box and so I thought it was about time that I got around to talking about them. There's one for just about everyone; from affordable to pretty high end and so keep reading if perfume is on your wishlist this year.

I don't really know where to start, but it seemed to make sense to start with high street and so I have two offerings from an old favourite brand of mine; The Library Of Fragrance. I asked for Myrrh for myself because it sounded amazing and exotic, and Cinnamon Bun for Katy because it's her favourite food - but I actually think that we are going to end up swapping them round as we definitely each prefer the opposite. I'm not really sure what Myrrh is meant to smell like, but to me the smell reminds me almost exactly of the taste of gin and tonic (I don't know how else to describe it). It's described as "warm, spicy, radiant and sensual" on the website and I'd definitely agree. It's a night time scent, but it's perfect for Christmas on it's own, and with Library Of Fragrance you can layer their colognes to make the smell more sweet or fruity anyway, there's even a handy guide on the website.

Next onto Cinnamon Bun and this is everything I wanted it to be and more. Although it does smell like Cinnamon buns taste, in terms of how both foods smell I'd say it actually smells a little more like Gingerbread. Katy thinks that this one is a bit much, and it is very heavy in the way of cinnamon and so it's definitely not for the faint hearted, but for me personally, I think that it's warm and soft and perfect for the Christmas Season when I don't want to feel like I've gone overboard, but I want to be in the spirit. My favourite thing about both of these fragrances is that they're only £15 each, so if you want to layer them it's really not going to break the bank.

Now we're getting a little more expensive as I'm moving onto the Coach Eau De Parfum, which is £69 for the 90ml bottle. This perfume is one that I feel just really isn't for me - not in that it's unpleasant but it just really doesn't sit right on my skin for any kind of occasion. This is supposedly fruity, then flowery and then finally settles to a musk and I hate flowers and the smell of musk in a perfume and so I suppose that could, in itself, be the issue - no big deal, I'm sure many people would like it and it's definitely the kind of perfume that my mum would go for, but I find it a bit heavy and old for myself.

One that I tried and genuinely did really like, which surprised me, is the Bvlgari Goldea Eau De Parfum. Again, I got this in the 90ml bottle and it's not cheap because it's going to knock you back a solid £102 (which makes me feel a little sick inside) but obviously there's smaller bottles, and also we all know that perfume is hella expensive. This is a musky smell with fruity undertones and it's just really wearable, despite the somewhat old fashioned bottle that would definitely put me off if I was looking at it in the shop. Not my top fragrance out of the list, but if musk undertones are your thing then this one might be worth looking at (try 30ml first, would be my one piece of advice).

Finally, and a firm favourite - Giorgio Armani Sí. The 50ml version of this is going to set you back about £63 which isn't to be sniffed at (no pun intended). I've just let the dog smell this one and it really doesn't seem like her favourite, but it is mine at the moment - in fact something about it reminds me of cake, although it is realistically a combination blackcurrant and musk I believe. It's not sweet, but it's not overly musky and it just feels like a really wearable fragrance to me personally, and I'm all over it.

Let me know what fragrances you're loving this year, not that I need any more!

Sammy xo.
Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.

Friday, 25 November 2016

Changing My Mind

If you follow me on Twitter (shameless plug alert) you'll know that one bit of my degree is much, much worse than the other part of my degree - and that's Criminology. I wanted to love it, I did; but, truthfully, I find it fairly triggering as well as just difficult - so, so much more difficult than I had imagined and much more difficult than I'm finding getting to grips with English Lit. I've struggled through it, through lecture after lecture and I've tried to love it as much as I want to, but it's just not happening for me.

So the time has come to make a decision. At first it was dropping out, but I'm not ready to give up on this just yet - I'm not ready to give up on learning, to give up on bettering myself and projecting myself further towards the future that I want myself (although that really is still completely unknown at this point to be honest) and so instead, I've come to a crossroads because to change my degree I need to know what the fuck that I want to do with my life, or at least what the fuck I want to do with my life right now.

All I can say is that I really don't envy all the 16 and 17 year olds trying to do the same thing right now - I've had the option to live, to see parts of the world, to work a few years, to get the experience that I need in order to form some sort of decision for what I want to do with life in the future. I've had the benefit of nearly 7 extra years, and I'm still making the wrong decisions, working out my future purely through attempts and failures. All in all - it's been a tough few years but I'm still working out the kind of person that I want to be, still learning how I want to better myself and add to my skill repertoire. 

So here's me changing my mind - maybe to something similar like sociology or theology, or maybe to something completely different like fine arts or English Language, I just don't know anymore; but I know that I've finally gotten comfortable with that fact that it's okay not to find out what I want to do the first time round, or even the third, or even the tenth. It's okay to keep working forwards in a direction even if I don't know when it's going to end in the long run - it's okay to fail, to start back at the beginning, to try all over again.

So here I am saying back to square one (okay, more like square two if we're honest, because I'm still keeping up with English Literature) and I'm okay with it for once, I'm determined to find my way no matter how long it takes me to get there. Any tips appreciated though!

Sammy xo.

Thursday, 24 November 2016

Pixi Christmas Launches

A few weeks ago I got the chance to go and meet Pixi's makeup goddess Amanda Bell to speak me through their Christmas launches and I was so excited I could barely contain myself for the entire week before. So, on the day - I head off to the Liverpool Malmaison with Katy and we were ushered through to a lovely covered piece of the bar to look at holly themed packaging and to swatch everything we could get our hands on. So, without further ado I thought I would share my favourite pieces from the Pixi Christmas Collection (so you can share my passion and grab yours before it's too late).

(L-R Swatches; Bronze, Blush, Glow // Highlight Shades)

The Palette Rosette seems the best place to start as it's pretty much the most all encompassing present that is on the more affordable end of the scale (it'll only set you back £22) so even if it's too late to get this on the note off to the North Pole, you just might be able to spring it for yourself. This is exactly the kind of palette to take on holiday with you - and so if you're travelling between different houses for the christmas season this was probably one of the better options. This contains three face powders; a bronzer, a blusher and a highlight - as well as 5 lid colours, three under eyebrow highlight shades and three brow shades.

(L-R Swatches; Lid Shades // Eye Contours // Brow Shades)

This really is a very versatile palette, and for the most part it's off really good quality - there's a mixture of satin and matte shades, there are a few amount of colours that all work really well together and you can use it for both day and night.  Probably time to start with the face powders; all of which have a shimmer to them. These aren't my choice powders, in that I like a good strong contour and a shimmer isn't ideal for that - but they are really good quality none the less; and the blush is a soft pink that's really flattering, and the highlight has a really good glow to it in a way that you wouldn't expect from such a budget palette. The matte shades leave a fair bit to be imagined and can go on patchy and uneven, but the shimmer shades more than make up for it, and there's no denying that it's worth the price.

Next up is a personal favourite; the Endless Silky Eye Pen Kit. You all know that I'm a sucker for eyeliner and so when we saw these tested, I knew that they were going to be the perfect set for me personally. There are five colours ranging from black to a shimmery cream (even including a rose gold, every blogger's dream) and are £18 for the five, which makes them less than £4 each which really isn't to be sniffed at. These draw on almost liquidy and soft, but set and really stay in place for the whole day - however, I do find the darker colours transfer onto the top of my lid, so I've found these word much better as strong, stay in place eyeliners for my waterline.

Finally, and one I'm on the fence about is the Multibalm 2 in 1 Cheek and Lip Colour, and mine is in the pretty pink shade of Wild Rose. I just don't know how to feel about this; it really doesn't work for me on my cheeks, it's easy to blend out but it's just totally the wrong colour and makes me look like I've had an awful sunburn, however this is good as a lip colour; but I find it better when I rub it onto my finger and press the colour in which makes it look a lot more wearable. This is somewhat waxy, but it's smooth and easy to blend so if multibalms are usually your thing, this might be a good choice.

If you've tried anything from Pixi, or if you have suggestions for Christmas beauty launches to try, please do let me know.

Sammy xo.
Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies however all opinions are my own - please view my disclaimer for more information.

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

University - 2 Months In

University has quite honestly been one of the hardest things that I've ever done. I feel like whilst all of my friends are out there drinking bazzalads (a fantastic concoction of lemonade, cherry sourz and vodka shots) and coming in at three in the morning, I feel as though I'm barely managing to keep my head above water for long enough to get through my degree. As naive as I am, I just didn't think that it would be quite this hard to get through University, I thought like I had done in school - I'd just breeze through with no real effort, but to be honest this has been a really tough wake up call.

Two months in, it's not really got any easier. I find myself in positions that I've never been in before, I'm constantly pushed to my limits when it comes to speaking publicly and meeting new people and, for the most part, I really am striving forward. That's not to say, however, that there aren't tears and tantrums a plenty on Monday mornings, or I'm not threatening to drop out every two hours on average - but it means that despite all of that, I'm really starting to push forward and get somewhere.

I sit in lectures and I don't know the definitions for half of the words that the people around me are using, and I don't know crime rates, or law dates, and I'm not as widely read as the people around me; but that's okay. I'm not always going to be the best of everything - I was privileged as a kid in that I was at the top of my school pretty much all the way until sixth form, but I'm getting used to knuckling down and putting the work in, I'm getting used to actually putting research in and making sure I'm actually learning and taking new things in like I should be.

So two months, an essay, an exercise, countless seminars and a good dose of lectures in and I can say - I'm managing, and I'm proud of myself. I'm getting there, and maybe this won't be my forever thing, but I'm learning enough about my subjects that if I decide I want it to be, I just might manage to make it there in the long run. So a huge thanks to everyone in the library for not judging me when I'm crying (sometimes over work, sometimes over Jane The Virgin), thanks for Katy for the burgers for lunches and the chocolate and the support and thanks to everyone who's spoken to me and made me remember that I'm pretty boss as humans go and I've definitely got this.

If you have any tips for us newbies at uni, I'd love to hear them!

Sammy xo.