Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Let's Talk About Masturbation (And Why We Haven't Been)

Hot on the heels that Emma Watson condones OMGYes and the frank teaching of masturbation, it seems that everyone is keen to talk about it - and that's amazing. Women have huddled in the darkness of shame when it comes to self pleasure for far too long and so seeing so many women openly talking about how and what they like when it comes to masturbation is refreshing - but why has it taken a celebrity endorsing the project to get us talking? Why have we cowered in embarrassment for so long? The answer can be summed up in a single word - porn.

The sexualisation of women is something that we're all too used to - it's something that we come across considerably more than we come across women openly talking about their sexual preferences. From an early age I can honestly say that some of the only times that I ever came across women touching themselves for pleasure, it was in porn. Now, I'm not against that but the fact is - it always seemed fake to me; like these women were putting on a show and, in essence, I guess that they were. It made masturbation into a seemingly simple equation that every women seemed to follow and excessively enjoy and so, when I tried it and didn't like it, I came to feel like I was defective. I was moving my hands in the same way, touching the same things and following the same pattern and yet to me, I just didn't find it enjoyable. When I came to losing my virginity I still wasn't comfortable in pleasuring myself sexually and so I found it difficult to truly enjoy myself as, truthfully, I was as blind about how to get my body to react like I wanted it to so the poor boy that I was with had next to no chance.

Media covers the idea of boys masturbating on a regular basis - we see teenage boys joking about it on documentaries, we see parents talking about their sons doing it as a normal part of life on soaps and yet the idea that their daughters might be doing the same is dodged; even subconsciously we are told to keep it under wraps and turn the other way. It's not just the shame that's the problem - but the fact is that when we're growing up as girls, we know next to nothing about our body - I grew up not knowing that having "too much" sex wouldn't make my vagina loose, not knowing that being tight for a boy meant that I wasn't really turned on enough to make sex comfortable and enjoyable. Now I'm looking back on it the fact is that I knew more about boys sexually in terms of pleasure than I knew about myself.

So why has it taken a celebrity to get us talking? It hasn't - I truly believe that the only importance of Emma Watson being on board is the coverage. I believe OMGYes has taken off because as girls hear about it, we really just how much something like this has been missing. There are hundreds of ways to pleasure ourselves not even broached in porn as it's not sexually appealing to those watching - and nobody has taken us aside to discuss them, no one is joking about them on mainstream TV, nobody is telling us that touching ourselves to find out what works for us is important, and pleasurable. So let's talk about masturbation, and learn about masturbation and let's start teaching girls that their self pleasure is every bit as important as their male counterparts.

Sammy xo.

If you liked this you might like; When I Think About Me I Touch Myself

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