Saturday, 23 April 2016

A Love Letter

Sam,

This is a bit weird - I know, but bear with me. This is a love letter from you (me) to you (me) and although it's more than a bit strange, we're going to go with it. This is a letter because self love is important, and god knows that we could use it right now, and I want to remind you what you've done well, what you're good at, for when you really need it.

Never forget that beyond all odds you have made it to 22, survived depression, anxiety, heartbreak and loss - every time you thought you'd found something that would break you, it didn't. You picked yourself up, dusted yourself off and you came back stronger. You survived losing other people, but more importantly, you survived losing yourself and - maybe it's taken until recently - but you found yourself again. You alone have survived 100% of your worst days (and there's been a fair few) and you alone have been there for every tear and every panic attack.


You are more resilient than you know; it's taken some really shitty situations to work that out, but we're getting there. We're talking weeks clean and free of panic attacks not days, we're talking real recovery like you never thought that you'd achieve - we're talking about getting better, when all the odds were stacked against you. Just because nobody else could see that you were getting better, it didn't mean that you weren't still building and moving forwards - but you were, you are, bigger steps every single day.

A year ago, this day seemed like one we would never reach. We'll have falls, and fall outs, and we'll have breaks, and broken hearts, but we'll keep pushing forwards. I have more days filled with happiness and laughter, I'm getting there, I'm recovering, and it's important to remember that we alone did that - even when people doubted us, we learned to stop doubting ourselves. Know that you will always be able to sleep at night knowing your strength and passion; know that these years that you've spent ill have been anything but a weakness and anybody that made you feel that way were the people that needed the strength.

We made it. We're recovering. This is a love letter to us, because we had to do it alone for the most part - but we did it, we're here.

Sammy xo.

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