Saturday, 28 January 2017

Que Sera, Sera

It might have been said once (in fact it was, because they made an entire song about it) that “whatever will be, will be” - and it’s something that little, karma-loving little me has come to accept. Whatever will be, will be. Whatever’s meant to be will find it’s way. Whatever way you find yourself wanting to say it, it’s irrelevant because in my case, it’s definitely proved itself to be true. Today, I wanted to talk about it - as a word to all of those who may be waiting on something they think will never come, and as a reminder to me; the girl who once thought the things she wanted, and the person she wanted to be would never come around. 

Life has a really funny way of taking what you thought you needed to prove that you didn’t - and I’m not talking about huge losses or people, but you know like when you lose your mobile and realise that you don’t actually need to be permanently attached to it at all times, or relationships that you thought that you couldn’t live without and it turns out that you can, and you’ll thrive without it. I find that life comes  to test you as a person, or it definitely tested me as a person; it made me learn to cope with situations that I thought I never would, it put me through the ringer and back, it made me the person that I am today - a person that I really, really wanted to be.

In my case - the big hitter came when I lost Katy the first time round; something I’ve tried not to talk about on my blog where possible. It was one of the worst times of my life, not only because I lost the person that I loved, but because I had hit rock bottom, I was ill, depressed, desperate and done with life. Breaking up with Katy really spurred me on - losing her made me realise that most of all, there was no way that I could cope with losing myself and so I worked harder; sat in CBT, blogged more, found more friends. I became the person that I had wanted to be, and I settled comfortably in.

Then that’s when the Que Sera, Sera moment hit me - because after a few months of living my life how I wanted to, and being the person that I had always wanted to be, I met up with Katy again - and I was healthier, happier, a better person to be with; and now we’re engaged, and the second time has been so much more rewarding, so much more beautiful, and so much more healthy than the first. By finding myself in life, and by going through what I needed to - I managed to get Katy back, we managed to get to where we needed to be; by helping myself a little bit, life dealt me a solid.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is - everything happens for a reason; and sometimes that reason is that you need to fall flat on your face before you can learn to get back up on your own two feet again. Hang in there - whatever will be, will be.

Sammy xo.

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