Sunday, 4 June 2017

Good Enough

It's taken me just shy of two hours to get myself to sit up and write this post, and I know what to say but I'm not sure how the words will sound once I've strung them together. A lot of things have fallen into place for me lately; most of you may know that I got my University place, Katy and I have made some big plans for the next few years and the direction our life is heading in, and I feel like I'm working harder than ever. But, for the longest time since I've recovered, I have a niggling feeling that whatever I seem to do lately, I just don't feel good enough.

Sometimes I think that maybe I'm growing out of this blog, but it's always been a passion of mine; Little Fickle was a confidant, a place that brought me together with my girlfriend and afforded me some of the best things that I've done up to this point in my life. For a long while I have maintained that I outgrew this blog, had bigger things to do than keep up with this - but the truth is, as small as Little Fickle remains, I think that it outgrew me; with the events, the boxes, the friends, the products I was overwhelmed and starting to feel like I wasn't good enough to be doing all of this, so I shut down.

It's been the same with other areas of my life; when I can't do it to the height that I want it to be done to, I would rather cut all ties than do it anyway, something I enjoy and something that (I think at least) I'm good at. I've talked before about great being the enemy of good, but it definitely feels like it's been the case within the last few months; if I can't be at the top of my game, there's not point in playing at all - and I know that's the wrong attitude, I know I should be trying what I can and having fun, but it's something I've been struggling with lately.

I'm writing this to remind myself that Little Fickle was here to share my struggles with the internet when I needed that most; it was so much more than a tiny page that got me opportunities with huge companies - as cool as the latter is, Little Fickle helped to save my life, and I'm hoping getting my feelings out here is going to remind me of that, going to help me to get back to cherishing Little Fickle in the way that I really want to.

So from me, to you, thank you for bearing with me. I'm trying to get back my bearings with Little Fickle so it's back to being a place that I can't wait to write for; I don't know how it will go, but I'm willing to try.

Sammy xo.

1 comment:

  1. I've been feeling exactly the same for some time. My blog has been put on the back burner because I just couldn't keep up with everyone else - all the events, reviews and everything that comes with blogging, it just began to overwhelm me too and I felt I couldn't maintain it the standard everyone else does.

    I've followed you for a long time and many other bloggers who have felt the same too, and I always enjoy reading your posts though it has been a while since I read anyones due to losing interest in my own. As it's important to you and it means so much, you'll definitely find your way back and find a place for it in your life and it's good to hear you're excited about writing again!

    MissIsGoode | Issy x