Monday, 4 September 2017

My Shifting Priorities

If I called the last three years anything less than a shambles then I would definitely be doing them a dis-service. They have been amazing and gruelling in equal amounts, depending on where you fall on the timeline when you're looking into it, but they've swung rapidly from thing to thing and my priorities have changed with each dodge of the pendulum. For the last year; my focus has been on fun - it's been on seeing the world, on having fun and working on finding who I am. It's been a fun run, I love seeing the world, I hope it will continue for a long time; but now? It's definitely changing; it's going to have to - because something else has to be my priority now. My future.

I've gone round in some considerable circles since I left school, I have lost myself so many times I couldn't count even if I wanted to (I don't). Now though, I have a path forward - I know what I want to do with my life, and I know that the road is going to be one of the hardest that I've ever trodden. It's going to take a full time job and a full time degree, it's going to take balancing two languages from scratch, it's going to take a year alone in a country I don't know. Everything about what I want to do scares me, pushes me right to the very edge; and that's how I know that I'm picking the right thing. I'm exhausted, frightened and overwhelmed, and everything in me wants to push forward anyway - I think that's how I know this is the path that I'm meant to be on. None of the bad, and it seems pretty bad right now, seems to outweigh the good.

So I'm going to do my best to keep on top of everything; two new languages, hispanic studies, work, travel, my blog, freelance, blogging and Game Of Thrones (in that order). I'm going to try and see the world still, but know that I might need to reign it in in order to understand some parts of the world further in the future, in order to have the life that I want in the future. I have four years of hard graft ahead of me, then hopefully a masters in translation. I have more work than I have ever known laid out in front of me, and I'm excited to get started, excited to work harder than I ever have done before, excited to make something of myself.

This feels like my last attempt at doing it right. I know it probably isn't, but something about it just seems like that - like a last ditch attempt at something. I feel as though I need to put everything into this now, so if I don't come out well on the other side? At least I can honestly say that I tried as hard as possible, I can hold my head up high and know that I did everything I could to get to where I want to be. So here's to the future, and my shifting priorities. Here's also hoping that I manage to keep on top of everything, because I really want to watch the last season of Game Of Thrones.

If you have tips for keeping it all balanced, please do let me know!

Sammy xo.