Sunday, 3 September 2017

The Satisfyer - An Instagram Worthy Sex Toy

We all remember those traditional sex toys right? You know the ones, you still see them in porn - flashes of bright pink rubber, shaped (vaguely) into genitalia, with so many veins decorating the side that if your partners penis really looks like that, you really should advise him to seek help. Katy and I have some in our collection because we came to accept a long time ago that, though sexy, most sex toys aren't really very attractive. The Satisfyer are out to change that perception, and not only are their sex toys something a little different in how you use them, but they're also a little different in how they look. So, buckle up, you're about to learn about some sex toys that work and are going to look great on your instagram (you know, should you wish to put them on there).


We need to talk about the idea of The Satisfyer first - because this is a sex toy that for all the world feeling as though it sucks on your clitoris. Is it painful? No, but it definitely is intense. There are currently 5 different designs based around the same idea in varying shapes and sizes, so there's a perfect fit for most people. From toys that can fit in your handbag, to toys that can take pride of place on your bedside table; it's undeniable that these are very pretty - with not a single fake plastic vein, or fluorescent pink colour in sight.

I got two of the toys, but we'll start with the more classic shaped option which is the Satisfyer Pro Deluxe. This is definitely the prettier of the two, with enough white and rose gold to make any blogger happy before it even touches your clit, but it's actually also my least favourite of the two. This is shaped like a pebble and is supposed to fit easily in the palm of your hand but I personally find it quite difficult to manoeuvre as the opening that you need to 'match up' with your clit is right in the centre. For me, this just feels bulky and far too much hassle; as pretty as it is, I definitely wouldn't be opting for this one again if it broke in the future.


The second toy I received is the Satisfyer Pro Penguin and, though much less aesthetically pleasing, this is a much better toy, in my humble opinion. This is, as you'd imagine, a toy that looks like a penguin with a tiny pink bow tie, and though much less cool, it really is the more effective of the two toys. This is more a 'use a handle to move me around' type deal, which makes it much easier to make the hole to the slot (no pun intended) as need; and it's good, it applies just the right amount of pressure to make it pleasant without being too intense, there's a number of different settings, and it's not really something that I can compare to any other sex toy that I've tried.


Both are charged with magnetic, USB chargers which is a bonus, as you're never going to have that taking-the-batteries-out-of-the-remote situation to get your rocks off, and more than anything they're small, unusual, and just generally a great addition to a sex toy collection - even one as big as mine and Katy's. Bonus, they're also waterproof and quick to recharge. The old Pro Penguin retails for around £36, and though I don't have prices for the new one, that's something I would definitely pay for this sucker (literally).

If you've tried a Satisfyer below, let me know, or let me know your favourite sex toys by all means!

Sammy xo.
            Contains PR samples/items gifted to me by companies - however all opinions are my own. Please view my disclaimer for more information.

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