Monday, 21 October 2019

The Comeback Kid

I don't really know where to start writing this post. In July last year I was going through a really rough time, keeping up with my blog was difficult and keeping up with life was even harder and so I took a week break, that bled into a month, that ended up being over a year and though I kept meaning to come back, life seemed to get in the way, and doubt seemed to get in the way, and I never found the time to write. Something that seemed so cathartic to me for so long suddenly felt like so many people knowing the ins and outs of my life and I was so overwhelmed by even living it back then that telling people seemed wrong, and not telling people seemed like lying by omission when I created this big space where the primary concept was making sure that people felt less alone. Back then, I felt the most alone I ever have, and so writing telling people that it got better just seemed hollow and false.

When you convince yourself you're no good at something and nobody is going to care if you come back or not, you'll find any reason not to do the thing. For example between writing paragraph one here and paragraph two I've found a whole manner of things that must be done right now, including but not limited to; washing, brushing and drying my hair, charging my phone, watching an episode of taskmaster, shaving my entire body, texting my boyfriend to tell him I'm probably going to blog, making plans for future blog posts when this one isn't even finished yet... I could go on. I won't though.

Girl Smiling Wearing Grey Winter Coat and Glasses
You don't care about the feelings stuff though, you're just here to see what you missed, and so here's the rundown!

1: Met Josh properly, referred to him as pop punk guy on twitter for 2 months, promptly deleted tweets referring to him as such when he followed me, played it cool by spending every day with him for 10 months, played it cool by throwing him an elaborate surprise birthday party, played it so cool that he knew I liked him and asked me out, continue to play it cool by telling him he's pretty and I love him at any given opportunity.

2: Met all of Josh's friends who are now some of my best friends. Play it cool with them by being mean at any given opportunity. They know I'm joking though. I hope.

3: Went to uni and smashed Spanish. Hated Portuguese. Left uni. I do, however, like to make the most of being able to speak Spanish by slipping into it without really realising when I'm drunk. 

4: Laughed, a lot. Cried, a lot. Did more pub quizzes than is probably normal for someone who doesn't actually drink alcohol more than once a month. Heavily contributed to the stock price of Diet Coke (I have no proof for this, but I do heavily suspect it to be true). Did many more things that I really don't want my mum (or more importantly my boyfriend's mum) to read about on the internet, so we'll leave this point here.

Basically you've missed a lot, but also not much at all. It's been a wild ride, I laugh more than I cry these days, which is something I never thought I'd say. I'm ready to start writing again, I hope there's at least some of you humouring me by keeping reading. Now the awkward part's over, I've got no more excuses, plus I'm nearly up to date on Taskmaster and I've exhausted most of true crime YouTube, so now seems as good a time as any!

Sammy xo.

2 comments:

  1. Welcome back!! I know the feeling about not finding the time to write, also people at work found out about my blog and it stopped becoming something I wanted to keep updated as much in case anything was taken out of context or in the wrong way!! :( xx

    Holly | www.gollymissholly.uk

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  2. Great post! I've recently got back to blogging after long break so can totally relate! Looking forward to future posts :) x

    ChloƩ

    chloejessicalondon.co.uk

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